I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with alcoholism and trust issues

I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who struggles with alcoholism and trust issues.  I have been sober since January 24, 1990 when I gave my heart to Jesus Christ.

The night that I was saved (re-dedicated my life to Christ) I was so excited because I had a new found freedom that I hadn’t felt before.  After church that night, my husband and I went home and literally emptied our refrigerator that was full of beer and several bottles of different types of liquor.  All of this alcohol was poured down the sink.  We weren’t about to give that “poison” to anyone else!
I was on top of the world and so excited about my “new life” in Jesus Christ.  My sins were washed away and I was a “new creature”.  I was delivered that night from Alcohol.

As the years passed by, I became very involved in church and different ministries.  I played music in church, sang with several different gospel groups, ministered at various nursing homes and retirement centers, taught adult Sunday school, children’s Sunday school, Vacation Bible School, choir director, praise and worship leader and was the Co-Pastor of two different churches.  I received my Exhorter’s license in 1996 and my Minister’s License in 2002.

From time to time, drinking would cross my mind, but I was able to rebuke the temptation and go on my way.

In 2008 I had to have a liver and kidney transplant.  I was very sick all the time before my surgery.  With the failing liver, I went into end-stage renal failure which required me to go on dialysis three times per week and four hours per session.  At this time I was on a lot of medication because of the pain.  If I was awake, I was in pain…if I wasn’t in pain, I was asleep.

Depression set in from time to time.  I found it very hard to pray for myself and to believe that God would work such a miracle like this in my life.  I never thought that I would ever be chosen to have the transplants and then thought if I did get to have the transplants I felt that I would die on the operating table.  I felt like my life was about to end at a relatively young age.  Was it my fault that I had Cirrhosis?  Maybe I deserved this disease.  There were so many “what ifs” racing through my head….when I was awake.

After my transplants, I spent five weeks in the hospital at the University of Virginia Medical Center and then was transferred to the Rehab floor at Lewis Gale Hospital which was closer home.  I had to go into Rehab because I had been so sick that I could no longer walk or take care of myself.  After four weeks in Rehab I was able to go home in a wheelchair and a cane. By the first part of 2009, I was able to walk without any assistance!

What does this have to do with Celebrate Recovery and my personal recovery from alcohol? Well, I want you to know about the grace, mercy and power of my Higher Power, who is Jesus Christ.
If I can be healed (and I was) of Cirrhosis of the liver and end-stage renal failure, learn to walk again and take care of myself, then why would I not believe and trust God to “deliver me from my temptations”?

In the past couple of years I have began having cravings from time to time for the alcohol.  All though I have not drank any alcohol in many years, the temptation is there. I know in my heart that I will not relapse and drink again, because of my faith and trust in God. It seems as though the little things “trigger” my temptation.  For example:  One night after church I went with two ladies from church to Applebee’s for a late dinner and fellowship.  The waiter sat us at a table in the bar of all places.  That wasn’t my preference, but I didn’t mind.  No big deal or so I thought.  While having our dinner and fellowship, I caught my attention drifting over to the bar which was stocked with bourbon and many other drinks that I use to love.  I began remembering the times that I would drink and enjoy it. I could almost taste it.  When I realized just how “tempted” I had become, I immediately repented and asked God to help me overcome my temptation.

It seemed there for a while that every time that we went to that restaurant they always wanted to seat us in the bar area.  One day I finally told the waitress that I would rather wait for a table in the dining room.  She looked at me kind of funny, but showed us to a table per my request.  When I got to the table I told her that I appreciated her accommodating me and that my reasoning was because “I was a recovering alcoholic”.  She politely smiled and said that is no problem!

Now, I don’t want to glorify who I “was” in this world because that would not glorify God.  Instead, I would like to focus on God’s mighty power to keep me and how He has made a way for me to fight the enemy, aka alcohol temptation.

1 Corinthians 10:13 says “There hath no temptation taken you, but such as is common to man: But God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above all that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way of escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

In Matthew 6:9-13, Jesus teaches His disciples how to pray.
(9)  “After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.  (10) Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven.  (11) Give us this day our daily bread.  (12) And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.  (13) And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil; for thine is the kingdom, and the power and the glory forever. Amen”

It is ok to ask our Heavenly Father to “lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.”
Many, many times have I relied on these prayerful words of Jesus!  My friend, when you ask of the Father to help you, He will and Praise God that I am a living example of just that!
James 1:12 “Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love Him.”

You may ask, “Are you still tempted to drink even though you are saved and serving God?  The answer is “YES”, but I am not alone.  I don’t have to fall into this temptation because I am told that God will make a way of escape for me from all my temptations.  Through Jesus Christ I can claim this promise and expect to win the battle.  Actually, the battle is not my, it is the Lords!  Thanks be to God, though being tempted, I am an “overcomer” through Jesus Christ.

By working the 12 Steps and 8 Recovery Principles I am growing stronger and stronger every day as I strive to strengthen my relationship with Jesus Christ.

Am I perfect and expect to never be tempted again? Absolutely not, but one thing that I do know is that I can overcome any of my hurts, habits and hang-ups with Jesus Christ on my side.  My Higher Power!

For those of you who struggle with trust issues as I do, I want to give you a few verses of Scripture to remember.

Proverbs 3:5, 6 says  (5) “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. (6) In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.”

2 Corinthians 5:17 says “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.”
This life will not be without difficult challenges, but I find myself empowered to deal with the challenges on God’s terms, not mine.  In trusting in Him, I know beyond a shadow of doubt, I am never alone!

Hebrews 13:5, 6 says (5) “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” (6) So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do to me.”

No matter how trying our circumstances, we must never fear that God will leave us or forsake us.
Thank you, my name is Lareasa and I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ!